Philosophy

Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned

• No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats
• When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair
• If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person
• Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato
• You can’t trust dogs to watch your food
• Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair
• Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time
• You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk
• Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts
• The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap

Great Truths That Adults Have Learned

• Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree
• Wrinkles don’t hurt
• Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts
• Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground
• Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside
• Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy

Great Truths About Growing Old

• Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional
• Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get
• When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there
• You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
• It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
• Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician
• Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone