When people hear the words “Tough Love” they may think of a group of tough, punitive parents. That couldn’t be further from the truth!
The parents who attend Tough Love meetings have come to a crisis situation and don’t know what to do. They are frightened, sick with worry, depressed, and feel victimized by their children’s outrageous behavior. In Tough Love, they learn that it's tough on the parents to do the right things for their children!
Why Parents Come to Tough Love
Some parents come to Tough Love because their children:
Follow no rules or boundaries
Lie, steal, and ignore curfews
Threaten parents or family members
Exhibit violent behavior
Act in a rebellious manner
Exhibit disrespectful behavior
Have no respect for authority
Have legal or school problems
Display addictive behaviors
Have behavior attributed to Attention Deficit Disorder
What Parents Learn
What Tough Love is all about is setting boundaries for our children and teaching them to make good decisions in life, or they will suffer the consequences of their actions. In Tough Love, parents learn to:
Act instead of react
Work together to create unity between parents
Establish appropriate consequences
Change responses that are not working
The most important thing that they learn is that things will not change unless they change!
Making these changes is hard for parents; they have to change the way they have been parenting, and that is very difficult. However, after they master the “process” of Tough Love, and the way consequences are given (i.e., losing cell-phone privileges for 24 hours) they find that life becomes more in control and their children change because they are being treated to a new kind of parenting.
The group meets every Tuesday evening from 7:45 to 10 p.m. at the Senior/Community Center, 204 Hillside Avenue, Livingston, NJ.